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Thankfully these new friends were nice enough to tolerate my anti-social behaviour. They tried to lighten me up and get me to laugh and joke around more, and I tried so hard to fit in and be happy. But happiness is not something I could fake, especially with the knowledge that Erika was going to be tortured soon. I wanted to act happy in front of my new school friends. But I couldn't. I guess I'm just too honest. Whenever I looked at a group of people laughing and having a good time, I start to wonder whether there's something wrong with me. Strangely, the people who tell me to lighten up and be positive are often the people who tell me to be myself. What if I'm just sad by nature? By acting happy and positive I'm not really being myself. I guess "be positive" and "be yourself" are just lines people memorize. Often when a friend gives advice, he or she just regurgitates lines from Oprah or Dr Phil. People just say things. They don't usually think about what they say.I'm sick of going. He knew that Amy felt a great need to be part of the adult group, but also needed companionship from Janice. He realised he could promote Janice's sense of connection to the adults through Amy. John gently reached his arm over Janice's back and drew her close to him. Now he had Amy on his lap and Janice close by his side. He gently stroked both of their backs. The girls liked that so much, they all but purred.Jenny and Jenny's children were of interest to him. Jenny had made a lot of points with him when she had helped him become a better lover. He had already used her guidance to good effect. He wanted to know how she felt he would fit into the lives of Stephanie and Michael."So tell me, Stephanie, how do you like your new home? You suddenly have a lot of family." he said.Stephanie blushed and turned her gaze to her lap. After a moment, she mumbled a reply. John couldn't make it out."Jenny, you must be proud of your children, so well behaved and seemingly so bright. Will you share a.
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